Things to do while trying to fall asleep

• Wonder if you'll wake up
• Listen to the small creatures scuttling through the walls
• Pretend you're dying instead of falling asleep
• Get alarmed at unidentifiable shadows, tell them; "I'm not scared of you"
• Think of old twilight zone episodes
• Appoint yourself god and assign value as you see fit
• Try and manipulate what you'll dream about
• Pretend the lump in your bed is Cindy Crawford
• Imagine your various underwear in a protest scenario; consider their concerns
• Ponder whether you exist
• Scratch your butt
• Make sure there is no one in your room you don't know about
• Wonder when you'll die
• Pray you wake up